While browsing Ravelry I found this pattern for crochet Jammy Dodgers, and I realised I needed them right now.
You don’t know how sad I am that these aren’t real.
I used aran weight yarn with a 4.5mm hook, and they actually make pretty good coasters (they’re about 3.5″ across)
Since the maker of the pattern has given permission for people to sell these (it’s in the comments, a little ways down) I was thinking of selling these in my (hopefully) new etsy shop as coasters. Packs of 2 maybe? I’ll have to think about it.