I have been so confused about…everything, recently.
For the past year, I have been comfortable with the label of biromantic asexual. I don’t feel sexual attraction, and I would be in a relationship with men, women, and anyone outside and in between. But lately I’ve been wondering whether I’ll have to change that.
I think I might be a lesbian.
The asexuality is still there. I have no confusion over that. But I’ve been thinking about relationships with men a lot recently and how much the idea does not appeal to me. Like at all. And the urge to have a girlfriend is incredibly strong, almost to the point where I would be looking for a girlfriend if I knew if I was single or not (me and my sort of ex are kind of back together. He is male. I think you realise the problem here)
I’m starting to think my sort of ex was an exception, that he is one of the only men I would be in a romantic and sexual relationship in. And I think I’m confused because there is a part of me that wants to be with him, but the part of me which is saying “You really like girls what are you doing” is shouting over it and it’s hard to understand it all.
I’m hoping I can sort this all out in my head.